Monthly Archives: April 2013

Episode 08 Posted

Episode 08: “Draft’s On Tap” is now up and available for download!

We prefer beer puns to wind puns, but nevertheless start the show this week by recapping the NFL draft with grades of how each of our teams did and opinions on first round snubs and mistakes. Our football discussion continues across the river with the Jets and the recently departed Tim “Chosen One” Tebow, who appears less employable than a carpenter and less magnanimous than a saint. Next, we discuss the biggest sports news of the week: Jason Collins coming out, and what this means for gay and straight athletes going forward. Owen takes a break while Justin and Raphael break down NBA playoff news with predictable sweeps, intriguing matchups, and how the Russell Westbrook injury will affect the Thunder. Owen returns for some umpire ranting and we offer our weekly Fist Punches and Pumps. Finally, we recommend hoppy beers and spicy gins, and preview the week ahead in sports.

Show length: 1:16
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Episode 07 Posted

Episode 07: “Noise, Poise, and Three Ranting Boys” is now available to download!

Some of us had rougher weekends than others, but that doesn’t prevent any of our opinions from coming out in full force. We open the show by discussing the finally official Darelle Revis trade and previewing the NFL draft. Then, we get into MLB where the arguments kick up a notch. The desirability of baseball’s human element is debated, and we get into a vociferous argument about the effect of mental intangibles on players’ performances: Raphael ascribes value to a manager’s motivation and the “closer mentality”, whereas Owen wants to see them tested with data and Justin disputes that they have any discernible¬†impact whatsoever. Our opinions re-align with our foray into the NBA, as Justin and Raphael agree that LeBron is the MVP and the Heat and Thunder will meet again, while Owen discovers a tasty new team. Next, we delve into yet another NCAA scandal, and look ahead to the French Open. Finally, we create a new Fist Pump / Fist Punch segment as an excuse to talk about our fantasy teams, and we suggest some fruity, hoppy, and nutty Beers of the Week.

Show length: 1:02
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Episode 06 Posted

Episode 06: “Golf War” is now up and available to download!

It was a week of mayhem and controversy, to which we raise our glasses as we lead off the show by discussing Zach Greinke’s entirely justified, if probably unintentional, beaning of Carlos Quentin. We continue to monitor the Biogenesis scandal, speculating on the effect that some recent surprising actions by MLB and its players might have down the road. The desirability of sliding on the basepaths is discussed, and we comment on some early season surprises: Raphael is blindly optimistic about his Orioles, Owen is impressed by Cleveland’s defense, and Justin reiterates his distaste for small sample sizes and golf. Of course, our fantasy teams receive their weekly attention, this time in the form of rants about some underperforming outfielders. We then move over to the NBA, debating how impressive the Bulls really are, who should win Douchebag of the Year, and whether Kevin Durant is actually “menacing”. Despite Justin’s apathy, the Masters receive some love as Raphael and Owen break down the controversial penalties received by Tianlang Guan and Tiger Woods and argue about surprises atop the leaderboard. Finally, we opine on whether Native American imagery should be used for sports mascots, and we heap scorn upon ignorant beer drinkers while offering more delectable Beers of the Week.

Show length: 1:19
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Small Sample Overreactive Fantasy Rant, Installment 1: “Matt Kemp Sucks”

Matt Kemp sucks. He is batting .125 right now because he is bad at baseball. When he swings a bat, you can tell that he feels a little awkward, due to the unfamiliarity of the action. I bet young Matthew always was more of a soccer player growing up but his parents pushed him toward a sport for which he possessed no natural proclivities and at which he never really had any chance to succeed.

The Dodgers should send Matt Kemp back to Double A Single A,¬†rookie ball. Apart from allowing him to work out his issues with the bat, the move will also help to improve his strength, which he clearly hasn’t fully developed yet. Low A is also a great way for a scrappy, but obviously talentless ballplayer like Matt Kemp to see the country and make a living wage for a summer. There will be lots of other players in rookie ball to teach him a thing or two about hitting, which will come in handy when he returns home to work as a “batting cage technician” at the Fun Center his uncle owns over in Tulsa.

Matt Kemp is probably the worst player in the major leagues right now. In the first inning he joined Marlon Byrd as the only person to have been struck out by Clayton Richard this year. Mark Ellis and Josh Beckett would later join this club as well, making it even more clear that Matt Kemp simply wasn’t meant to be a professional baseball player. Kemp was also the only one of the Dodgers top four hitters to fail to get a hit off Clayton Richard in the first inning. That’s because he sucks.

How much does Matt Kemp suck? He sucks so much that when the Dodgers play an American League team in an American League ballpark, they would be better served to utilize Juan Uribe or Justin Sellers as designated hitters, (Kemp can’t play the field anymore because he’s too slow). Matt Kemp sucks so much that the Dodgers wouldn’t be able to trade him to the Yokohama Baystars of the Nippon Baseball League for an unrefrigerated and already open bottle of Sapporo, even if the Dodgers agreed to pay his entire contract. Matt Kemp sucks so much that if he were to inquire about the possibility of playing for France in the World Baseball Classic, reasons Coach Jim Stoeckel would provide for not adding him to the roster would include: 1) You were born in Oklahoma, 2) You don’t have any French relatives, 3) You don’t have French citizenship, and 4) I’m afraid we can’t really make room for you on the roster right now.

I really think it’s unfair that just because a bunch of other people drafted Matt Kemp in the first round, I’m not allowed to drop him in my fantasy league. As far as I’m concerned, whoever wants him can have him, because his career will probably be over by July. I don’t need that kind of player on my fantasy team. I would much rather have John Buck, Mark Reynolds, or Michael Saunders. You know, real ballplayers who hit over .300 and frequently hit home runs or even steal bases.

Matt Kemp sucks.

Episode 05 Posted

Episode 05: “Umpty Dumpty” is now available for download!

Spring is in the air, and we celebrate by getting hot and bothered by a number of topics this week. We start off the show by tearing into Cock Dick Rick “Douchebag” Reilly’s ludicrous article criticizing Tiger Woods’s recent Nike ad. Then, we take a deep dive into baseball’s opening week, covering Yu Darvish’s almost-perfecto, whether or not we believe in certain surprising players, and how our fantasy teams are doing. We also explore some broader baseball topics, discussing the evolution of free agency, MLB’s lawsuit against Biogenesis, and the pathetic state of major league umpiring. Of course, stupid debates are our forte, and we certainly couldn’t let Mark Cuban’s comment that he would consider drafting NCAA women’s basketball star Brittney Griner slip through our fingers. But it’s not just pro sports decision-makers that we enjoy ridiculing: the NCAA also receives our ire as we talk about the violations unveiled at Auburn and fallout from injuries suffered by Kevin Ware and other college athletes. Finally, we offer our thoughts on some veteran NFL players finding new homes, and suggest new Beers of the Week.

Show length: 1:41
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